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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Mommy Rules: Number Two

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my "Mommy Rules," (or one of them anyways, see here) the set of guidelines I gave myself to become a more present and involved parent.   I really should have started writing about them much sooner! Ever since I talked to you guys about my Rule No. 1, I have been acing it. Like every single morning.

I'm hoping to capitalize on some more of those good vibes when it comes to the second rule that I have given myself. Because this is the one I probably struggle with more than any of the others. And that rule is:

Or in other words, no hobbies, no computer, no T.V. shows, or movies while the kids are awake. Save your "you time" or big to-do items while the kids are asleep, or away. 

Okay, I know! It sounds pretty extreme.And obviously it won't work for everyone. But for me, my children are still pretty good nappers. So this is possible. But why?

Well, my husband and I realized that our children tend to get in the most trouble when we are trying to "get things done," or "watch our show," or "finish that blog post."  

I'm not sure that it is really that they behave worse during those times, all though I wouldn't be surprised if that is true. The minute I get on the phone, I swear my children are about 5 times as loud as any other time during the day.  But it is during those times that I am also the least attentive and the least patient.

This leads to kids getting warning after warning after warning, with little follow through, until mommy explodes in impatience and sends the child to time out.  The kids push the buttons, because they know that I'm not paying attention and they can probably get away with it, at least for a while. 

Ultimately, whenever we as parents allow ourselves to become distracted, we find ourselves in a very contentious and stressed home.

So we figured it would be a good goal to eliminate those types of situations as much as possible.

                                                                      Source: via Pinterest

And rule number one has actually helped with that quite a bit. If your children don't nap, rule number 1 is a good way to still get in your "you" time. I wake up at 5:00-5:30 in the morning and usually have enough time to shower, dress, read scriptures, and look at all my favorite websites before my kids wake up.

This allows me to still do things I like, while making sure to dedicate my full attention to my children while they are awake.

This rule doesn't mean that the house doesn't get cleaned. This rule doesn't mean you can't sit down and watch a movie with your child. I think the point of this rule, for me, is to make sure that what I am doing during the time my kids are awake are things that they can do or enjoy with me.

For example, Kay L-O-V-E-S to do the dishes. And Emmie gets a kick out of helping me switch the laundry. And all three of us like to sit & snuggle while watching a Disney movie. But again, these are things we can do together. Things that won't distract me and make me impatient. They are children appropriate.

                                                                          Source: via Pinterest

And BONUS, this rule makes sure that I am making wonderful memories with my kids. It forces me to sit down and pretend with my children, even if I'm not that good at it. It makes me rethink my excuses. It makes me be the Mom I really need and desire to be. The mom I hope my kids will remember, the mom that spent time with them.

And so I leave my blogging and pinteresting and facebooking, and sometimes my more detail oriented chores or church assignments for early morning, nap time, and night time. Or that is the goal anyways.

I'm hoping that writing this will help me as much as writing the last rule did. This is my biggest biggest struggle, and I'd really love from here on out to become all "good days" as far as this rule is concerned.  It takes 30 days to make a habit, right?  

Expect a report in December ;].

What are some ways you have made an effort to be a more involved parent? Any good rules I should know about? Tips or tricks?


  1. This is exactly what I've been trying to do! It's like a job, you wouldn't try to catch up on non work related projects while you're on the clock! I'm excited to see your report in a month, and hopefully I'll be doing well at it too!!

  2. Amy! I totally agree! We should show our children the same, if not more, respect we would show to a job or employer! I'm glad I've got a buddy on this journey! We'll be each others cheer leaders!


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