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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Mommy Rules

One of the main reasons why I decided to start this blog was to hold myself accountable. Accountable to make the changes I needed to make, in order to be a better mother, wife, daughter, and friend.

Right now, I want to focus on becoming a better mother.

I have made goals, over and over again, about the type of person I would like to be.  But what good is a goal if you never do what it takes to meet that goal?

 For such a long time I have wanted to be a mom that jumps right into the action with my kids and makes memories with them.  For such a long time I have wanted to be a mom that doesn't sweat the small stuff. For.such.a.long.time I have wanted to show my beautiful children that they are more important to me than any hobby, chore, or T.V. show.

I want to show them that I care about what they care about. I want to show them that their desires, wishes, and dreams are just as important to me as my own are.

                                                         Source: via (Megan) on Pinterest

But after months of just sitting and wishing that I could be that mom, without any game plan on how to get there, I continued to be exactly who I was. I continued to put myself first. Almost always.

Which is why, eventually, I forced myself to sit down and come up with what I (now) affectionately call my "Mommy Rules."  I understand that all family circumstances are different, and that these rules may not be feasible for others. For me though, they have really helped me to put a concentrated effort into parenting deliberately, rather than by the "seat of my pants".

And so I share them, hoping that they might be useful to other mothers out there, who may be struggling with some of the same things I am.  Which brings me to rule numero uno...  

{ Rule No. 1: Don't Show Up to Work Late. }

Having had plenty of opportunity in my life to work outside of the home, I have learned a thing or two about successful business habits. And the first habit, upon which all of the rest hinge, is showing up on time for your job---dressed, ready, and determined to put in your best effort.

For me, my job was something I took pride in doing well. I made sure to get to work early so that I could prepare myself, mentally, for what needed to be done. I enjoyed 'putting my all' into doing the best job I could for my employers.

And then I realized something. I was not putting that same dedication, devotion, and effort into my parenting. Rather, I looked at being home as "my time." My opportunity to rest and relax. My chance to do whatever I wanted. My break.

And I would get upset when I was "interrupted" by my children.  Please, go watch your T.V, so I can read my blogs.  Seriously, just play by yourselves! I want to work on my photo books! For five seconds, babies, just wait, I really want to finish these dishes!

...I don't think I need to explain what was wrong with that attitude but, suffice it to say, when I realized what I was doing, I was pretty ashamed. My whole life I have always (and quite sincerely) believed that being a mother is the most important job I can do. That family should always be more important than work.  But my choices were telling a completely different story.

And the story was titled "Me, me, me, me, me!"

And that is when I decided to change. To put just as much, if not more, dedication into motherhood as I did into my work. Being a mother is a job (in a good way). And my children deserve to have a mother who is willing to do that job well. Who loves them enough to be dressed, ready, and determined to be exactly what they need me to be. And for me, rule number one, was the way I decided to start being a better mother.

So how do I practically apply rule number one in my life? I make sure to wake up before my kids do.  Usually, dare I say it, around 5 am.  I say my morning prayers, I shower and dress, I read my scriptures, and then spend whatever time I have left doing something just for me. Like blogging, checking e-mails, pinterest.

Now trust me, I am not much of a morning person. And this rule is not easy for me. And I far from religiously live this rule. But, inevitably, whenever I fail to get up before my children do I find myself reverting to how I was before. I start to ignore my children so I can meet my own needs. The T.V. is turned on and the children are shuffled from one distraction to the next, so I can do whatever it is I feel like I need to do.

If I wake up early, however, I can do everything I need to do before they even open their sweet little eyes.  By the time they are awake, I am prepared physically and mentally to meet their needs (without having to sacrifice my own!) and to begin focusing on the type of mother I described above. The type of mom that will go out of her way to make her children pancakes for breakfast, instead of cereal, just because it makes them happy.

                                                          Source: via (Megan) on Pinterest

And so I'm working on making this rule a habit. And now I'm holding myself responsible not only to my children, but also to you, all of my friends, to make sure that I do!

I've heard it said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. If that is the case, I am to determined to put insanity behind me...and really change. Try something new, like my Mommy Rules, to get the different results I have been hoping for.

And I am excited for this journey.

I'll share more of my 'Mommy Rules' down the road, but for now... I think this is enough text for one post! ;]
Do you have any 'rules' that help you in your day to day life? I'd really like to make "Eat Chocolate" one of my daily rules... sadly, that might break the bank. And going broke is already against one of my rules. ;] Bummer, dude.

1 comment:

  1. This is sooo true! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We all have a better day when/if this happens. I'm going to work on it too (with baby steps since I have a newborn. But we are now finally adjusting! :). You are such an inspiration, keep it up!


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