A little over a year ago I was in a really bad place, mentally and emotionally. I never have wanted or tried to take my life, but the thoughts in my head were horrific.
I'd lay down in the middle of the day and cover my head with my pillow, begging and pleading that the thoughts would go away. If I could just go to sleep, maybe the thoughts would disappear.
I didn't want those thoughts there. I didn't want to hurt myself. I didn't want to die. So why in the world was my brain doing this to me?
Like I said before, it was a very ugly place to be.
But there are pro's and con's to any situation. Before this point, I had never once suspected that I might suffer from depression. I just figured everyone had the blues, everyone had self esteem issues.
And that is true. To a point. I just didn't know that my version of the blues and self esteem issues were much worse than what other people went through. So I didn't address them. And left unchecked they led me to the nasty place in my mind I found myself in, in January of 2012.
Like I said, pros and cons.
One of the cons, among many, is that I had to let things get as far as I did before I got help. One of the greatest pro's of this whole situation, however, was that I was finally able to recognize that I did need help and I was able to get that help before things could get any worse--before I started to agree with the terrible thoughts.
And for me, I know, that one of the main influences in my life that helped me recognize that I needed help was my upbringing and faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And it has been this faith in Christ that has also buoyed me up and continually strengthened me in my fight.
I know it may be tempting for some to think the exact opposite of what I am suggesting in my title. For those who don't share my belief in a higher power (let alone Jesus Christ) it may seem like religion, in regards to depression, is just an extra burden on an already burdened mind, not a source of relief. Maybe even the cause of depression, rather than the respite.
But I am here to share, with all of my heart and soul, that the gospel of Jesus Christ, indeed the Savior of my soul, has been and continues to be my constant comfort when things in life seem dark and ugly. And He's helping me overcome.
It (religion, faith, belief) has been anything but the salt in my wounds, or the cause of them. It has been an anchor and a shield to me. A source of comfort and peace. And I would like to share with you how.
My first post will begin tomorrow and it will be followed by other posts, all describing my struggles and how my faith has strengthened me and helped me navigate through them. You will be able to find all of these posts linked back here as I publish them.
I sincerely hope that these posts can be a source of help and inspiration, to someone, somewhere, who may need to hear them.
Check out my other posts on this subject: